Yahoo! The Off Season and Other Stuff

It's really time for me to blog again!

Since the Ragnar Relay I've loved not training. What I loved most about it was the mental break. Having one less thing on my plate for awhile was good because training had become something I "had to do." The passion for it had waned.

During the break I made some decisions about 2010.

I'm going Short Course! All sprints and Olympic distance races!

The reasoning is two fold:

1) Training for Short Course will take significantly less time, which is essential for me in 2010. While I've learned tons about managing feelings of overwhelm that come from launching a new business, trying to be the best wife I can be, and living the rest of my life, honestly the thought of training for a Half Ironman next year made me go UGH and produced a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I've learned to listen to those feelings. After all it was a flash of feeling, in the center of my gut, like a voice telling me what to do, in November, 2006 that spurred me to commit to Silverman. Three years later, HERE I AM! A changed person in every sense of the word. I listen to those gut feelings.

2) I seriously want to get faster. I TRULY DO. Coaching with Liz will get me there. I will continue to have to step outside my comfort zone. I didn't push as hard as I wanted to in training in 2009 and that sort of bugged me. It also showed in my Utah Half Iron race results and in a lot of my mental struggle during that race. Looking back I just see it as an opportunity to prove to myself how serious I am to raise my athleticism to the next level. I need to get comfortable being uncomfortable!!!

I'll post my race schedule soon in the sidebar. I feel the need for a new blog template soon too, and new pictures . . . . . :-)

For now, getting back into training has been good. But also rough. My run absolutely SUCKS. Liz told me yesterday that the run takes 4-6 weeks to come back so this makes sense. I had a GREAT swim workout the other day -- it surprised me how good I felt in the pool after six weeks away. And I've been riding the trainer doing high cadence drills, one legged drills, and other stuff. And of course strength work. That is the toughest for me to fit in because I treat it as an afterthought.

WRONG WAY TO LOOK AT IT! I just told Mike and Ann the other night at dinner (Mike came down here to race the Silverman Half -- he had a very strong race!) that I'm feeling too "soft" in the body lately. Ugh. It's true though. I sometimes miss the days where I lifted three times a week (of course during that phase of my life I did no cardio at all. I brazenly believed I didn't need to -- rofl).

SO . . . . DO THE STRENGTH WORKOUTS STEF. Duh. Nuff said.

Consistency is KEY for me this year. Part of not pushing myself enough in 2009 included letting myself rest too much. Truth be told I skipped too many workouts. Because pushing myself really HARD out there in the swim, the bike and the run scares me. It is SO uncomfortable. Training for Silverman, every workout was a risk. Every workout, especially toward the end, pushed me into someplace I had never been. I wanted Silverman so badly that I had to shove aside the fear and the discomfort and just GO.

After Silverman I've had to find new sources of motivation within me. And that's okay. That means I continue to change and grow.

So I plan to be back here more often blogging about my training and new goals. Welcome back ME!

OH and it was so much fun following my awesome blogger buds who did the Beach 2 Battleship!!!! I had signed up for that race and, while pulling out was the best decision for me, it was amazing watching them give their all out there: Calyx, Donna Shirley , and Kevin especially!!! I've been following these guys for at least two years now and always wait with bated breath for them to post. Great blogger friends to have!!!!!ENJOY YOUR OFF SEASON FOLKS. You earned it!

Racing for Fun and Other Thoughts

I can't believe it's closing in on a year since I did the Silverman Half.

I'm in such a different place now than last year it's almost incomprehensible to me. Staggering. Crazy.

After the Utah Half my training became sporadic and inconsistent, much like my posting frequency here. I could say it's been hard but the truth is I've enjoyed taking a break. It is so0000 refreshing to not judge myself so harshly for everything I do. Working on that has taken some significant energy but I have to say I'm very proud and happy about where I am right now.

My business is blasting forward and that has "upset" my life balance a bit. Upset isn't the right word really but it's the first one that came to mind. I'm not working long hours killing myself as an entrepreneur (seriously I did that in a job I'm not putting up with that being in business for myself -- life's too short) but the time and energy I'm spending is specifically targeted and deliberate, so that I'm growing my business without killing myself or becoming resentful.

It's GREAT!

So I've allowed training to take a temporary back seat. It's not permanent and it's not something I'm ashamed of or something I'll regret. Ever. Taking the B2B half off my calendar was SUCH the right thing to do. Although part of me is still bummed that I won't be there, the overreaching theme is that I can do B2B another year!!! YEAH!

So, my race this weekend!!!! Las Vegas Triathlon, Sprint.

It had been three years since I'd done a sprint triathlon. WOW how much fun are they!!!! Originally the plan was to go to Tempe with some friends to do the Nathan's Sprint. Those plans fell through so I got into the LV Tri and raced here at home on the same day! Serendipitous, simple, and really really fun!

This is the first race that I've rolled out of bed for feeling absolutely NO pressure. So another way of saying this is that doing this race was KEY to my well being in and love for the sport. I do love the level of discipline and dedication needed to train for and execute a half iron. LOVE IT!! THAT is what got me to this point!!!!! After Utah, though I needed to take the lid off of the pressure cooker! I was not expecting this to happen so it took me by surprise. Fortunately, I trust myself enough to make adjustments.

Though it was in the back of my mind, I truly did not worry about the fact that my training was not up to the level that it usually is before a race, any race.

Coach wrote some fun, short and speedy workouts for me. I treated most of those as "optional." Instead I got there, knowing I could do the distance (oh yeah) just looking for a good time.

Swim (750 meters)

The water was PERFECT!!! Flat, calm and the perfect temperature. No wetsuit for me! The conditions were just too perfect.

I'm not used to being in the largest starting wave. Here locally the sprints draw the most athletes and yesterday all the women started at once. Since I'm typically either doing a half or an Olympic distance the starting waves are pretty small. This wave was larger than I am used to but very tame. Quite a few of the girls were doing side stroke, back stroke, or breast stroke.

My stroke is getting an overhaul from the folks at Swim Las Vegas! I continue to improve in the water and my new stroke felt pretty good! I swam at a moderate pace just really enjoying the water.

Swim time -- 21:47

The run up to transition was ridiculously long -- the longest I've ever seen. Leslie, Kym and Donny were there cheering for me as I got out. LOVE that!





You can sort of see how long it is here and I still have quite a way to jog yet!!









Nothing like those gorgeous just out of the water shots -- waving to all of my fans (lol)!











T1 -- Pretty uneventful and longer than normal.







Finishing the ride!







Bike (12.4 miles)

Ah this was where the fun was -- and I'm not even being sarcastic! After Utah I needed a ride that I was at least semi happy with and this one filled the bill.

No more had I gotten into my rhythm when we were hitting the turnaround.

YES!!!!!

Seriously it felt like I had just taken a couple of breaths and there it was!

It was the familiar hilly course I'm used to but I had not ridden these hills in months! The last one is always brutal and as I made my way up I just kept repeating: Silverman -- Strong, Silverman -- Strong over and over as I listened to the clip clop of a couple athletes walking their bikes up . . . SILVERMAN . . . okay I was at the top. Time to descend to transition. Yeah!!!!!

Bike Time: 54:45

Run (5k)

Well it seems like there is a less than happy place for me in each race this season and this time it was the run. Not that it was so bad but by this time my body was starting to feel the effects of the sporadic inconsistent training as well as the less than stellar eating habits that have been a part of my routine lately.

Let's just say the run was slow and it started to get hot and leave it at that. It was still fun being out there and encouraging and being encouraged by others.

Run Time: 39:54

My friends had to leave before I finished but they got this shot of Tony finishing. Tony kicked my ass in this race by more than 11 minutes. He was waiting for me and removed my chip when I crossed the line then he gave me a big hug. He did double duty at this race as a volunteer and a participant. Tony has seen me at my best and at my worst and he is always there ready to train with me.






Thanks Tony.








So this year has been full of learning experiences, and I set some huge PRs!!!! GREAT season for me.

If I had to address one nagging thing though it's this: I never pushed myself as hard as I could, or, more importantly, as hard as I wanted to, this season. I know there is some speed in my body, at least enough to put me up in the middle of the pack. I know this as surely as I'm sitting here typing. Or at least I'm as sure as I can be having not cracked mid pack yet.

So the question becomes, what do I really want? Getting to mid pack (if I really do want that for a compelling enough reason) may take time, what with me having no background in swimming, biking or running. I just don't know right now and that's OK.

I felt like I lost my edge after Utah and immediately realized that I had to take things down a notch. I HAD to do the LV sprint tri just for fun to keep my finger on the many reasons why I do the sport.

So next season should be interesting. After doing the Ragnar Relay in two weeks I will be officially (as opposed to unofficially as I have been doing) "off" until November 1 and then I will let the inspired ideas about next season come to me. They are there as one has surfaced already.

For now I will blog more frequently even if it's not all about training as I've missed blogging, and the interaction that comes with it. Facebook is great but it's not blogging!

Take care everyone!

Happy Monday!

Two days after the Utah Half Iron we went to New York to visit Glenn's family for six days. Getting home was great, though I felt like I needed a vacation after that trip.

So, the next few days were spent not doing much -- but NOW, it's time to push forward again!

Couple of things:

1. My new home office is ready to work in. First day of work in there: TODAY! Tony found me an awesome desk and chair and Glenn put an air conditioning unit in there yesterday. All that's left is to decorate the walls and my own private QUIET space is done!

2. I've made some changes to the second half of my race season which I'm very excited about! I've taken the Beach 2 Battleship Half Iron off the schedule and instead added the Nathan's Tempe Sprint, the Ragnar Relay and the Pumpkinman Sprint!!

As I was reaching my taper for Utah, I had pretty much decided I needed a break from long course training. After Utah I was sure of it. Training was starting to become a burden rather than a blessing and, since we always have a choice about what we do, I chose to make some changes.

And I really feel revitalized because of it! This week marks my first week of "serious" short course training -- last week was awesome as the schedule got me back into the swing of things (I didn't train at all while in NY). Training, for me, must be fun as well as challenging, breaking through, and all that stuff, so my decision is 100% right! For ME!

I seriously still have flashbacks of Silverman, quite often. I mean real flashbacks where I see myself on the course, feeling the feelings and emotions I was having, and knowing that I can do WHATEVER I set my mind to. Utah simply added to the rich racing history I'm creating for myself. I wouldn't trade training for that or racing that for anything.

The best part of all this is that I get to be at Silverman this year! As a volunteer/spectatator/screaming fan. As far as I'm concerned that race has magic attached to it. And I'm a part of that.

Have a great week everyone!!!!!!

I Made it to Taper

I haven't been blogging lately because I haven't wanted to put a lot of negative crap out there without context.

Truth is, training in this hellish inferno all summer has taken a toll on me emotionally. It has shown up in my motivation level (or at times lack thereof), it has shown up in my bike and run times (which honestly I would prefer that no one, even Liz, ever know but Liz knows cause she is my coach and stuff) and it showed up last weekend when I fell under the weather and bagged the entire weekend of training. Stomach bug. I was relieved to tell you the truth. I stayed in the AC all weekend, recovered and did not feel remotely bad or guilty for not training.

I've been frustrated with, and at times, resentful of training. Training has been no fun. Naturally it's not always fun but I have NO memory of Silverman training feeling even remotely hellish like this. I think it's because the long stuff started at the end of summer when things were more bearable and then of course fall is perfect training weather here.

So I haven't felt that positive lately about training.

And I have no idea how I'll do up in Utah but if my training times are any indication it's going to be a really long day. On the other hand it's not quite as hot up there and the course (bike and run) is billed as "pancake flat." Since I have absolutely NO experience on pancake flats it should be quite the adventure.

I do feel really strong and confident on the bike, despite my low average speeds. I'm not blaming the heat necessarily, but to pretend it doesn't affect me would be patently ridiculous. I had a minor episode today where I had a few seconds of "panic" and nausea going uphill with no breeze. I just felt like it was closing in on me. . . . . . fortunately it passed pretty quickly. My nutrition plan is second nature by now -- I felt strong running off the bike too. So I feel like I ended the long workouts on a strong note.

Now that I've made it to taper with my sanity intact, my general plan is to go up to Provo, be grateful for everything I have accomplished, race in the moment, and do the very best I can. I think that will be more than enough! Glenn and Tony are going with me. I have the best support in the world.

Tantrum

Sunday was my last long ride on the last day of a three week build cycle with a bike focus.

Tony and I decided to ride out toward Searchlight and back. Tony suggested this route for variety and because there aren't really that many hills out that way. Except that going out, after sailing down past the dry lake bed (30+ mph), it's pretty much a grinding incline the rest of the way. Nothing bad though.

When you start riding at 5:45am, the first couple of hours are actually pleasant. Plus most of the trucks on the road were extremely courteous, going into the far left lane when they passed us. Nice! We also got a "way to go" honk from some guy driving a Ryder truck and towing a car behind.

The way out was uneventful.

On the way back I got a flat. First flat since Silverman. Woot! Almost eight months with no flatting -- I'll take it!

Glenn chastised me a couple of weeks ago for not paying enough attention to how my bike handles. He was NOT impressed that I rode for four hours with the front tire rubbing against the fork. I should have noticed it pulling to the left, stopped, and fixed it.

Of course, Glenn is totally right! Pay attention to the damn bike, especially during long rides!

So, when I noticed that something felt a little "off" while cruising at a nice 18-20 mph in aero, I stopped. Sure enough the front tire was spongy. Slow leak. It pays to pay attention.

Tony changed the tire for me. He's so nice. By this time it was really HOT out and getting off the bike I experienced just a HINT of nausea. Oh God! I don't do well when nauseous. I looked around for a bush just in case but there really wasn't one large enough for me to hide behind. I silently cursed the desert.

Thankfully once I started riding again it disappeared and I had no problem drinking my hot Gatorade, hot Perepeteum and hot water. Sounds yummy right!! It WAS.

Not!!

Only the Luna bars tasted normal. But dry. Had to wash them down with warm water.

This ride was good overall and I was feeling strong until we got to the dry lake bed and had to grind up the hill we had sailed down about three hours earlier.

By this time it's about 95 degrees out and on that hill there was no breeze. No breeze at all. Not even a whisper. It reminded me of sailing downwind. When you sail downwind any breeze that exists is directly behind you and when it's hot out it feels even hotter. Like 10 times hotter and the air feels thick and still.

That hill was by no means the steepest or longest hill I'd climbed. But it seemed to NEVER END. I felt oppressed by the heat. A wave of heat moved through me, then another. You know how you can "see" the heat on blacktop if you look? It felt like THAT. I seriously got scared that I would need to stop and if I stopped there was no way I would start again and someone would have to come and rescue my ass. I couldn't let that happen.

It finally became unbearable and I screamed "FUCK," at the top of my lungs, started blubbering, whining, and breathing really hard. I was very VERY angry!!! At the heat, at the hill, at myself, at Tony, at everything. All rational thought flew out the window and I became worried about things like my brain melting, suffocation, and lying on the side of the road being beat upon by the sun with no one to rescue me in time.

Not my proudest moments. In fact I was a little ashamed. The only thing I kept doing that made any sense at all was taking in my nutrition. YUP. I'm just that paranoid that without enough calories, salt and water I will surely die out there.

When we finally reached the top of the hill the breeze reappeared, the road flattened out and everything got much easier. The breeze was there all along it just didn't reach us in that little pocket of hell.

I wasn't done though. I told Tony "I love you man" and proceeded to let out another string of curse words and obscenities. This time though they were chased by maniacal laughter, rather than desperation, fear and shame.

Tony asked me if I still wanted to run after the ride and I said hell yes. Liz will ream my ASS if I don't run after.

The run was a mixed bag. On the one hand, my nutrition had settled really well, my legs were there and I had energy. On the other hand it was terribly slow, and I still felt oppressed by the heat. This is how all of my longer runs off the long rides have been. I'm seriously concerned with how my run will go up in Utah.

It will come down to a choice of how hard I push myself. I struggle with that all the time and it frustrates me. This workout gave me confidence that I can certainly handle Utah. I can do the distance. The high up there should only be 90 or so and the race is billed as "flat and fast." It is approaching 110 here and will climb higher in the next few weeks. And here it is hard to find flats to practice on that are long enough to do any real distance.

What this means is I've been working hard. Some days harder than others but I've been getting all of the workouts in. I want to do better than just getting the workouts in, but some days my mind just doesn't like to cooperate. I'm also afraid I will be DFL in Utah and I don't want that. Though realistically I think that if that happens I probably wouldn't feel too badly about it in the moment.

This is only my second 70.3. I'm sure these thoughts and feelings are somewhat normal. They are certainly normal for ME. But still I feel like there are flaws in my approach that I want to correct. I guess it's a question of how badly I want to correct them.

The Day After REST WEEK

So, rest week did not go so well. I'm leaving it behind. It's in the past.

Today was my first workout after rest week.

A 90 minute run.

Let me just say it was great to be back! Actually for the first 50 minutes the run did not feel great. It felt like a relentless chore. Thankfully it was only about 80 degrees out and the park is always nice in the mornings.

When I got to the "meat" of the run (some zone 3 work) things started looking up! I got into a rhythm and found it was much easier to go with the quicker pace than the slow plodding pace I started out with. I was tempted to walk one time but caught myself.

Another highlight of my week was receiving my Multisport Mastery race kit in the mail on Monday. It was just the extra bit of motivation I needed to get out there and run. Best tri outfit ever, hands down! The large fits me perfectly. Nothing pinches, nothing rides up, it's extremely comfortable. Can't wait to do my long ride in it this weekend!

So next time rest week comes around (about three weeks from now) I'm going to hold myself accountable to do all the workouts during rest week right here. On my blog.

Oh and my 69 year old phenom training partner, Tony should be back from his vacation in time for this weekend's long workouts. THANK GOD. I've been so spoiled these past few months training every day with Tony. I hope he wants to do the long stuff. I'm sure he will do a lot of it with me.

Cheers,
Stef

Thank Goodness REST WEEK Is Almost Over

So . . . rest week.

Rest weeks blow. It's not that I'm sad to have a reduction in volume and intensity of training because I'm not! I love to rest! In fact, at times it feels like I would be in danger of returning to couch potato land if I didn't have races to prepare for. Which is why (just one among a myriad of reasons) I continue to do this.

No, rest weeks blow because during them I feel more tired, more hungry and less motivated. It actually HELPED to look at Training Peaks last night to see 11+ hours on next weeks schedule (starting a build toward the Utah Half Iron with a bike focus). YES! With a schedule like that there is no choice but to buckle down, focus, eat, and get it all in. But seriously folks if I had my druthers I would take this weekend off of training. Just because.

I'm not overtired, over trained or burned out. But just because. I feel lazy. Yuck.

PLUS my 69 year old phenom training partner Tony is out of town for two to three weeks! So when I'm putting the day's workout off there is no one there to help me keep on schedule. And I've put off the workout just about every day this week. YAH!

I'm supposed to go to a Swim Las Vegas open water swim tomorrow morning but am already considering skipping it and it's 24 hours away yet!

I guess it's okay to feel "off" once in awhile. It's "normal." Sigh.

On another note my friend Wade told me I look more "buff" in the arms than he's seen me in awhile. This was yesterday. I told him that's what 4-14 hours of training per week will do! Hee hee. I also told him I've gone up three sizes!

My business is moving forward at breakneck speed. My new website will be up in 30 days or less and I will be blogging professionally and doing a bunch of other stuff to get "out there" in the white paper writing world and the entrepreneurial world in general. I'm already writing stuff for my own business and for clients -- I'm just taking it to another level! FUN! EXCITING!

I am BEYOND EXCITED for my blogger buds doing Ironman Coeur D'Alene tomorrow: Izaac, Victor, Stacey and Dave and a whole host of others whom I either read about or know through folks on Facebook. WOW I'm actually sort of nervous and excited myself -- kind of a microcosm of what they are each feeling I'm sure. Such a huge thing to be doing, something that most of the population will never even attempt. I just got chills.

With that I'll see you all next time! Have a great weekend!

The 2007 Tape

In January I signed up for this "business boot camp" in order to have access to an expert in business building and also be a part of a group of entrepreneurs who are in various stages of building their businesses. It has been GREAT I have made many valuable connections, both in a professional capacity and also I've made some great friends.

One of the things this particular program addresses (and the reason I signed up) is how to get past fears and mistakes that entrepreneurs often make. In other words, anyone who is serious about the program is willing to get inside his or her head and face negative thoughts, beliefs and actions that may be standing in the way and work to shift them.

The program also addresses all of the typical aspects of running a business (marketing, copy, website, getting clients, working with vendors, hiring assistants, etc.) in a way that really resonates with me. So I am busy putting this stuff into practice and moving my business forward.

I was dubious about business coaching at first. SKEPTICAL.

But I also knew that I was not going to get where I wanted to go with my business by myself. Not without some type of coaching/support.

VERY analogous to Silverman!

The program has NOT disappointed. In fact it has over delivered more than I ever could have imagined.

In addition doing my marketing, copy, client work and all of the "practical" aspects of running a business I've been working on shifting non serving beliefs and pushing past fears to build a business writing white papers and more . . . not sure what the more will end up being yet but that's okay! In fact it's exciting!

So, in this process the tape that plays in my head has changed drastically from negative, self flagellating nasty epithets to more supportive, positive, reinforcing "nice" thoughts.

Now, the tape started to change started WAY before I started this business course -- it started with triathlon, it started with Liz's influence and guidance through training. And a lot of the stuff I'm doing now to build my business is analogous to training. When things get hard it really REALLY helps me to look at things in relation to how I train and my business coach/group coach has really responded to this. She often asks me about training in order to better understand where I'm coming from so we can figure out the best way for ME to approach a given situation since MY business is unique.

So during this morning's longish run (1:14) I was surprised and dismayed to hear the old tape playing. Actually, it has been playing in the background all week and making everything harder. We're talking the pre Liz, 2007 tape, saying things like:

You suck

You are so slow

You should be way faster than this by now

You are going to come in D.F.L. in the Utah Half (fer shure)

My 69 year old phenom training partner Tony was with me and was very talkative this morning too. Sometimes during longish hot runs I don't like to talk. Tony understands this about me and is cool with it if I don't say anything for long stretches at a time. That doesn't prevent him from talking though (this is why we get along so well -- I don't ask him to stop talking and he doesn't expect constant conversation from me).

Here's an example:

Tony: Yeah we should go out to lunch later with Glenn and Marge

Stef's Head: WTF! What is he talking about lunch for?? It's early f*cking morning!! This run SUCKS I am so hot and slow.

Tony: Look there's another runner coming toward us on the trail! She has two dogs!

Stef's Head: Yeah she's so much f@cking faster than I am, I should be so much further along by now. Those dogs are nowhere near as cute as my dogs. Why isn't she carrying water?? Am I the only one who drinks like a camel in this damn f@cking desert heat????????

Tony: It's nice out here

Stef's Head: Please make him stop talking! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE HIM STOP! I want to go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to be D.F.L. in the Utah Half and that is going to suck. I hate training.

Around this time Tony asked me what was in my head. I told him I wasn't saying cause he didn't want to know.

5 seconds later I told him:

Stef: Well Tony I was thinking I'm going to be D.F.L. in the Utah Half.

Tony: I don't think so.

Stef: Well I don't really think so either but sometimes my mind still goes to dark places.

Tony: That's understandable.

Then he said some more stuff about stuff and this all made me feel better. When we had less than a mile till home I felt even better. Then Tony asked me if I wanted to do some pickups/fartleks. I said NO absolutely not.

Five seconds later I said "oh what the f*ck, why not." We had fun racing each other down Wyoming on the way to my house.

Tony is an experienced athlete. He has run multiple marathons, done many many triathlons, and hiked in and out of various canyons and whatnot. So when he asked me what was going on in my head it was because he noticed I was in that dark place.

Tony gets that training sucks sometimes! He doesn't judge. At the same time he is a positive force and I'm sure he wouldn't train with me so much if I was as negative as I was two years ago. That 2007 tape has been playing a lot this week so I'm glad this week is over. :-)

Oh and tomorrow (Monday) is a rest day from training AND a a day off from my business. WOO HOO! This three day weekend arrived just in time for me to recharge.

YAY it's Sunday!

Another week in the books!

Training wise this was a rest week and thank goodness! When I'm getting back on the clean eating wagon, training is harder for me. It takes a lot of energy anyway and there is very little wiggle room when it comes to nutrition! This morning was a 45 minute easy run, the kind of run where Coach says don't bother with the heart rate monitor, just run by feel at a conversational pace. PERFECT. It was warm out and Tony and I "conversed" the whole way. Don't know how many miles. Don't care. :-)

Next week starts another build week toward BAM. Tony is going out of town so I will be on my own. Which is probably good for me. I've become very dependent on Tony to train with so I feel like working out on my own (or maybe with others for an OWS or ride on the weekend) will be good for me.

I'm already thinking ahead to the Utah Half and painting a picture in my head on how I want the race to go. The picture in my head is ambitious! Much more so than my current numbers indicate. Again, don't care. I know myself and absolutely know that I'm capable of executing an awesome race, in 90 degree heat, on a flat course! Naturally, I'm also glad that it's still over two months away, because there is much work to be done!

When I'm out there racing it I will be detached from the outcome, wanting only to give my best in every given moment. If I do that I am happy with the result. Um, yeah. Silverman is the perfect example of that. Silverman will always be on a pedestal in my mind. It was the very tip of the iceberg to a lot of things, bigger and better things! I think I really like the 70.3 distance and my two half irons this year will tell a lot in that regard. :-)

Our new kitchen is taking shape. Glenn is doing all the work himself so it's taking longer (and costing much less) than a typical remodel. When he figured out this morning what we've spent so far the figure is staggeringly low. The other side to that is that Glenn's business is slow right now which gives him the time to work on the kitchen. And we haven't ordered the cabinets yet. LOL! He has assigned me to clean the kitchen (there are tools everywhere) and I decided that blogging is a better option for me right now.

Uh oh. Guess I'd better get to it! We are going to the Lowery Fish Fry in a little while too. I'm looking forward to that! They always have great food there. And beer!!!

On Balance

WELL!

Last week, with the exception of the awesome IronGirl spectating/sherpa experience, was less than stellar for me.

To start, from Wednesday on, I completely fell off the training/clean eating wagon. YUCK! Loss of appetite, limbs that felt heavy, motivation GONE added up to a half a week of missed training. Even the euphoria of IronGirl could not motivate me to train over the weekend. Again, YUCK!

And yet, this is OK with me. Months of attention to details like my business, staying balanced, staying happy, training consistently, has left me with very little desire to get angry over these glitches and almost no desire to beat myself up like I used to.

This morning I started a new week of training which is a clean slate. Sure I felt a little flat, a little like I was recovering from a mild illness, but honestly I didn't care. The point is I was out there, doing my run, in the increasing southern Nevada spring temps. Honestly? I was thinking how this freaking HOT weather we have here will really help me be prepared for the Utah Half!

So yeah I don't like training in the heat. At all. But it sure is nice when a kick ASS thought comes before a more whiny negative thought.

Meanwhile I'm moving forward in my business and our kitchen is being transformed. Seriously. It seems like every time I leave my home office to go out there something has changed. Glenn is a freaking GENIUS.

So, I've concluded that I can totally do it all. As long as "it all" is comprised of moving forward with:

1) things I really truly want and am passionate about (my marriage, triathlon, my business, and assorted "others"),

2) things that I am doing for reasons that feel absolutely 100% right to me and

3) the absolute understanding that I am a continual work in progress and, with 1 and 2 firmly in place, I accept where I am, all the time, in every given moment.

Changes!

Things are seriously changing around here!

Let's start with training:

I am LEAGUES ahead of where I was last fall! I can tell because Saturday at the Tour de Fire I had the most awesome and fun ride EVER!

Tour de Fire is a group ride sponsored by Pro Cyclery, ridden from Boulder Beach out toward the Valley of Fire. Ride lengths ranged from 20 miles to 138 miles! Fully supported with food at the start and finish line.

I signed up to do the 42 mile ride with Tony, his friend Natalie, and his other friend Jason. Our other good friends Leslie and her husband Kym signed up for the 20 miler. The 42 mile course is the same as the Rage 1/2 Iron course but turns around a few miles sooner. It was actually 46 miles, with the turnaround at mile 23!

This workout was to get in some endurance miles and Coach's only instructions were to fuel smartly and have fun. Well, I always fuel smartly! So, I concentrated on having fun. The weather was nice, the company was awesome and the best part was that I did not push myself hard on this ride. I let myself enjoy it. Because I wasn't worried about time, heart rate or any of that, I was able to let loose and just have fun.

And by doing that I arrived at the finish with a time that was faster than than both long Silverman rides last fall (on the same course)! While I felt like I wasn't pushing very hard yesterday, both Silverman rides I felt stretched pretty thin.

Yup! I am much less intimidated by the hills and much stronger than last year! The hills that ALWAYS give me problems . . . . really didn't. My legs said "we got this, just enjoy the ride!" So, I did!

This week I'm taking the bike in for a tune up. It was starting to shift funny -- nothing too serious but it needs to be in top shape for BAM which is next month already!

House Addition:

We are adding approximately 240 square feet to our home, on the kitchen/laundry room side. This will more than double our kitchen size and create a new home office for ME! The framing is done, doors are in and now Glenn just has to put the roof on. After that it's interior work.

Business:

Starting and running my new business is a lot like training. It takes persistence and consistency to see results. There are breakthroughs along the way, and some days it's very tiring and you wonder . . . . .

I love to write and have no doubt that white papers are the way for me to go. From there, who knows!

If you are interested you can click on Glenn Frank Design to see a sample of my work. I wrote a white paper about remodeling for Glenn's business and am about to launch a marketing campaign for it. The landing page does require an email registration to read the entire paper. Don't worry, no selling of email addresses and no spam!

Till next time, and take care everyone!!

Oh I wrote an article for the latest Swim Las Vegas newsletter!!! When it comes out I will post it here.

Some Pre Rage Thoughts

RAGE is six days away!

Wow seriously where did the time go?

Training has been going well except for one thing: I skipped my open water swim practice yesterday.

Do I think that will negatively impact my race? No.

Do I feel badly about skipping anyway? Yes! I feel badly because I had no real reason to skip it except that I just didn't feel like going. I really really hate it when I do that and no amount of trying will stop that behaviour. Because I either go. Or I don't. There is no try. Really. There isn't.

Cool I got that off my chest.

Other than that glitch, training has been going very well, including swimming!!!

Last week on the bike (KEY workout) I pushed harder than I normally do and was rewarded with a higher average speed than I normally get. That felt great!

Today (another KEY workout) I didn't push as hard as I could have on the bike but I pushed my 30 minute run off the bike. I need to just swim, bike and run faster than I normally do and know that it's okay to be uncomfortable. OKAY! It's supposed to be uncomfortable!! I am getting better with this. Slowly but surely I am getting better. I plan for this to show in my race results this year!!

I'm very excited for Rage! As long as I hold the mind games at bay I should do really well. Definitely should smash last year's time. Last year I was DFL in the Olympic distance. Not just in my age group. Out of everyone! So there's nowhere to go but up.

Last year at this time I was staring down the barrel at my third attempt at the Olympic distance. Last year, under Liz's coaching, I got my first finish at Rage, but not before Liz had to bitch slap me though the computer because I was nervous to the point of being hysterical.

This year? Oh I'll be nervous, no doubt about that. Hysterical? Not so much.

Because I have TONS more experience and confidence now! And I do have (a lot) more speed in me I just have to be brave enough to bring it out.

It's funny I've been humbled so many times out on different race courses and in different parts of races that I'm not sure what goals to set for this race or how to formulate my race plan. I want to set a reasonable goal but don't want the bar to be too low, know what I mean?

I need to mull this over a bit more.

One thing I do know -- I will have a plan! And my nutrition will be ON!

Who am I kidding I want a HUGE PR out there!! HUGE!!

More later.

HAPPY EASTER!!!!

Hanging Out in the Higher Zones -- and a Little This and That

I love it when Liz tells me that certain workouts are "key" workouts for the week. Because then I really focus and give it my all. Yesterday was one of those workouts.

It was a long run, building from zone 1 up to zone 4. Very strong run to prepare for Rage in two weeks.

I've spent little time in zones 3 and 4 this season, so I'm not very comfortable there. Even though I can get there, just like anyone else can, I don't go very often. Tony and I started at Veteran's Memorial Park, because he wanted to measure a different proposed route for a new 5k that's going to be held here in the fall. I like going to the park cause it's nice there and we run from my house a lot so the variety is good.

The warm up was typical -- I felt a bit creaky from buildup of the week's workouts and the negative voices were whining in my head. Once I started building up into zone 2 though, they left. Never to return. Zone 2, to 3, to 4 all felt very strong and fast! And also uncomfortable (well the latter part of the zone 3 work and zone 4 were uncomfortable).

I'm one of those athletes that Liz has to push to push herself. To put it another way, Liz does not have to coach me around taking it easy or recovering well. I totally have those down!!!!

Where I need help is pushing myself into an uncomfortable place and staying there longer. Because I do want to get faster. So this year I'm working on walking that line between pushing myself and also accepting where I am (in other words not beating myself up).

And this year, God willing, I will complete two half irons with no mechanical difficulties. So it will be be against myself, the course, and whatever the weather dishes out! Oh and two brand new courses to boot! My time goals for these races may be a little ambitious, but I'm going for them anyway. Which takes us right back to pushing pushing PUSHING when it counts!

I'll keep you updated on that . . . . .

I've had a breakthrough in my new business. I've produced my first white paper! That's right! I've always wanted to be a writer and for the last six months I've been gearing up toward launching my white paper writing business. At times it has felt slow and arduous and I've felt impatient and frustrated. However, I'm learning to manage those thoughts and emotions much like managing the negative mean voices that show up during training.

In fact I've concluded that building my new business is a lot like training and racing. It takes so many of the same traits that I've overlapped the two in my mind. Which is good because Silverman was the linchpin! The turning point! The event that made me realize that I CAN DO THIS. So they are forever intertwined for me.

More on my business later. It's coming along at the right pace and I am no longer overwhelmed by balancing work, training and the rest of my life. I took four weeks of reduced training volume to manage those issues and now I'm back baby! Although continued persistent management will be necessary to keep balanced . . . . .

Oh and BEST to Izaac who is doing Oceanside today!!! GO IZAAC!!!!!!!!!!!

My Backyard Pool

Yesterday was my first open water swim of the season with Swim Las Vegas (awesome website coming soon).

Being Typical Stef, I was hesitant to go in. Information about the water temps ranged from 49 to 59 so I was skeptical.

But it seemed fitting, having watched Champions of the Silverman 2008 on the big screen a mere two says prior. That movie brought it all back. In a good way! Kelly blogged earlier about how that movie really showed the beauty of the desert and Lake Mead. Very very true. Wonderful movie I'm so glad they made it and had a screening for us!

Anyhoo, back to the swim. Just before we went in Coach Paul remarked that Lake Mead was my "backyard pool." I've mentioned here before how awesome Paul is. That remark simply confirms the awesomeness, and also confirms that I have the best backyard pool EVER.

I love Lake Mead. Before it was my swimming space it was my sailing space. And I never thought I'd say this but I like swimming much much better than sailing races. I feel like I'm in my element when I'm swimming out there.

Although my backyard pool was COLD. High 50s I would say and I base this partly off of JT's comparison of the temps to last years Ironman Coeur D'Alene temps. He said Lake Coeur D'Alene was a bit colder. When I filled my wetsuit with the shivery cold water my hands and face still felt like icicles. A few strokes out and I considered going back cause it was almost painful. But then my hands warmed up and my face acclimated so I was all set!

It was a good workout! I didn't feel especially fast but kept up with the group no problem. We ended up splitting into two groups. I was in the slower group. AWESOME! I felt very happy and at peace with where I was, both in the nice brisk lake and with my pace, and with our awesome swim group. My stomach growled a few times and my new Swim Las Vegas swim stroke felt a bit awkward in the wetsuite but I felt strong!

Well, okay, I kept up with everyone in the slower group until the end when Izaac ditched me when we were supposed to practice drafting off each other. I could NOT keep up with that guy. He must have misheard and though we were practicing racing! He clearly belonged in the faster group and in fact I think he switched groups at some point to swim with us. Dork!

Anyhoo on our last swim between the buoys we were supposed to draft in a row: Izaac, then Stef, then John. That's how it was supposed to go, because that's what Coach Kara said! So Izaac was the leader, and JT was behind me (I'm sure had no problems keeping up). But Izaac just HAD to go fast. I tried to stay on his feet but was simply not successful. He said that he tried to slow down but it just wasn't working for him. Um, hmmmmm. Sure dude. Lol!

I was totally going to tattle on him to Coach Paul but then I forgot to so oh well. LOL!

At least he invited me to breakfast later. So I was able to refuel AND catch up with him and Kelly AND see their cute niece Isabelle. So that was a lot of fun too!

Overall training is going well. I'm still struggling a bit with everyday fueling but told Liz that I want to ramp it up for Rage, which is now four weeks away! So this coming week starts a nice build! I'm very happy about that!

Calming the Crazy

It has been a strange two weeks!

Starting this new business has caused some (a lot) of overwhelm which has spilled over into, guess where?

Eating!

Training!

Suffice it to say I've been motivationally challenged these past couple of weeks and my eating habits have slid to less than stellar. Although by typical American diet standards Glenn and I do very well even when we get into a rut! I'm not worried. The climb out has begun, in fact we are almost out!

I am learning to manage myself in new and sometimes scary situations. I have to take baby steps in my marketing because otherwise I won't move forward. But it's so worth it to me! Thank God I have 2008 training and racing under my belt because I feel like although I've slipped in training consistency I have the power to get right back in there and rebound quickly! This is more evidence that I'm living the lifestyle not just training for a couple of races.

Woo Hoo!

Nevertheless, I called Coach in a panic a few days ago and asked her if we could reduce the training volume for a time certain. She suggested four weeks. That sounded good to me. Well not GOOD but good for the overall structure of my life at the moment. She said that reducing volume through March will be fine. Woo Hoo! I personally don't think I will lose much (if anything) athletically by doing this.

I will be ready for RAGE! Swimming volume is not being reduced, per my request. I've decided to swim once a week with Swim Las Vegas, do two workouts per week on my own (written by Kara and Paul, coaches of Swim Las Vegas) and drop BC Masters. I feel good about this decision.

Take today, for example, when I accidentally showed up at the WRONG POOL for SLV Masters! When I discovered that the workout was at a different pool across town I nearly blew a gasket. Paul got on the phone and that is when I discovered that, in addition to being a great swim coach, Paul has another very special talent.

The ability to Calm the Crazy.

I was this close to calling it a day and going home but Paul actually calmed the crazy. He listened when I told him that I check my email a billion times a day, he heard my frustration at potentially being late for practice (I HATE BEING LATE), told me how to get to the right pool, said I had plenty of time to get there AND said that he was going to make me work extra hard today! The way Paul was talking it was clear to me that not showing up was not an option.

So I showed up (on time, barely) and had a damn good workout! Seriously how far would any of us get without support? Not far at all!!

I am grateful for the support system I've built around training and racing. After all, it is going to be a long season. Everyone needs people to lean on!!!

So I'm looking forward to getting all of the workouts in next week and managing myself to create the business and life that I deserve. And I need to see if Tony is available tomorrow to do my brick with me. Wouldn't that be nice!! :-)

Week Wrap Up Randomness

This week was pretty good. I'm moving forward with my business and I got all of my training done! I did have a few nights of insomnia which absolutely sucked so I'm sitting here at 10pm sort of not wanting to go to bed so now is the perfect time to blog.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I think about the fact that I'm swimming three times a week and this is now normal. There is one thing though. I'm not sure that Boulder City Masters is the place for me to be long term. I go to Boulder City Masters on Tuesday and Thursday nights. The coach is a 24 year old guy named Travis who was State Champion from Boulder City High School during his senior year. After that he went to college on a swimming scholarship.

Travis is a competent coach. Thing is, I wonder if the workouts are challenging enough. Not that I'm ALL THAT in the pool -- I mean, I have my own lane! Next to two tri girls who I chase pretty hard so that I won't get totally creamed. The "pure" swimmers are very very far from my lane.

Still though, when I read descriptions, on blogs, of how hard others work at Masters, I wonder if BC Masters is cutting it. And my gut tells me no. I've signed up and paid for the month of February, so I'm committed. I've been there two weeks so I'm still fairly new there. Another gut check at the end of six total weeks should tell me what I need to do.

On Saturdays, I swim with Swim Las Vegas, another Masters team that ROCKS! These folks are the swim group that I trained with last season to get ready for Silverman. They have formed a masters team and structure their workouts in blocks, triathlon specific, to train for specific races. I just finished up a four week stroke clinic with them and on 2/21 start an eight week program to prepare for Rage.

The thing about Swim Las Vegas is that 1) Coaches Paul and Kara are head and shoulders above anyone who has ever coached me in swimming and 2) the workouts are split into four Saturdays in the pool followed by four Saturdays in Lake Mead. Those who follow my blog know that the Open Water swims with this group with Paul in the kayak coaching us while we swam the buoys is what clinched my swim confidence heading into Silverman.

I can feel my swim stroke improving practically every time I get in the pool. I've learned to push through the moments of frustration and fatigue and just swim. Working with Paul has been so good for me -- he is excellent at coaching a group of people through a workout and the people in the group are GREAT!

Today (Sunday) was a 90 minute brick, 1 hour on the bike, 30 minute run off the bike. Even though I live in an area where we can bike outside year round I am picky lately about the weather. My training buddy Tony is recouping from knee surgery so I've been on my own more. Even though Coach said to "get out and ride" I looked outside today, saw the bushes bending in the wind, and said SUCK IT WEATHER! I hopped on the trainer and watched Psych and the first part of Burn Notice.

Then I got outside and ran. It was windy and a bit chilly, but I don't mind running in wind. Not having a dreadmill leaves no choice anyway. It was my first brick of the season and it felt GREAT! Let my heart rate go a bit too high on the run so next time I will rein that in but everything felt really really good!

Then later this afternoon I got to be part of a focus group at Lululemon Athletica! That was great! They asked us a bunch of questions, like what running clothing and gear we like, etc. and then we went in the store and picked something from their running line to review. I picked a bright yellow, long sleeved running shirt. It is still pretty cool here after all -- too cool for short sleeves (I say this a bit tongue in cheek -- I'm a cold weather wimp since moving here 24 years ago)!!!!!

I hope everyone has a good week. At some point I'm sure I will update more often but for now these less frequent updates feel right to me. :-)

Evidence

I've been working on launching my new business and things are coming along. Probably at the pace it is meant to happen but I occasionally have bouts of insecurity and self doubt about it all. Those will not stop me though. I know that my business will be successful.

In getting things off the ground I've been very conscious about how I'm showing up every day. What attitude to I have? How do I chose to be? How do my clients feel when they work with me? It's powerful stuff.

I've had a few dips in power and motivation this week and they can all without exception be traced back to lapses in fueling myself. Yup. Not eating enough.

Sometimes I just have to laugh at how I can go through some big, transformational experience(s), Silverman being the most recent, and, at some point I invariably end up right back in the grip of a dumb habit that wants to hold me back.

Why IS that?

Human nature?

Whatever causes it, I just have to look at each time it happens as an opportunity to do better. My training is going SO WELL right now. As Liz has said to me many times recently, I am a different athlete. And I am. There is no denying it.

There is so much evidence of this fact lying around:

1) SILVERMAN,

2) I got right back into training after essentially taking two months off and did very WELL on my fitness tests,

3) I like swimming now,

4) I'm swimming 3 times a week now,

5) training now feels like a lifestyle as opposed to something I have to do to finish Silverman,

6) the first two weeks of January my fuel intake was perfect for what was going on in my life -- I had energy to do the workouts, energy to work, and when I got tired it was a "good" tired not a debilitating tired!

7) I've been making and enjoying many recipes from the Eat Clean Diet Cookbook -- they suit Glenn's and my taste and lifestyle very well -- and THIS fact is coming from a woman who used to hate to cook! When I use these recipes I know that I'm eating enough fruits and veggies. I also have some quick standby meals for when I need them.

So in the face of all of this evidence, WOW, there it is.

Suddenly I have more energy to grocery shop and do what needs to be done to set myself up to have a good training week.

Hell noone is perfect but it's how we manage things that can make us or break us.

Oh and another piece of evidence that I'm not the same athlete that I was: I am Multisport Mastery's Athlete of the Month for February!!!! I love my coach! So much of this I could not have done without her guidance, support, meticulous attention to detail and professionalism. Thanks Liz!!

Run Test!

Wednesday I had my run fitness test. What a monster.

Here is what I had to do:

Go to the track, warm up.

Run a mile hard.

Write down heart rate info while trying to not die.

Run a mile and a half ALL OUT.

Write down heart rate info while trying not to puke and die.

Cool down.

Tony came with me for this. I was grateful for the company. Tony is usually up for anything as far as workouts go and this test was no exception. He did his own thing while I warmed up and when it was time for the mile he was ready. He beat me. This is normal. For those of you who don' t know, Tony is 69 years old. To say he is in great shape is an understatement.

We lined up for the mile and a half. Tony stayed behind me the whole way -- he typically does this. Whenever we are biking or running he usually settles in right behind me. Then he will occasionally pass me up as he feels like. Well lap 6 came around and I decided to pick up the pace, just to make sure I left it all out there. Tony didn't catch me. To paraphrase his words I took off like a shot or something like that and he was unable to reel me in as he had planned.

I was glad to have beaten Tony -- keep in mine he beats me 95% of the time. Not that we race all the time. Or ever. He is simply faster than I am.

I was also wondering whether I should have picked up speed sooner than I did -- did I really run the mile and a half ALL OUT??

THEN I decided to stop analyzing it and just let the results speak for themselves. I'm getting faster. Slowly, I am getting faster. I enjoy seeing improvement it makes me very happy.

Quiet

Yup I've been quiet lately. Seems like lately I have less to say. And that's OK!

I've been putting quite a bit of energy into launching my new business. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but when I am I'll talk about it here! Or introduce it here. I'll have a business blog too at some point!

Finding the confidence and wherewithal to finally put into action what I've been thinking about for over a year now has added balance to my life and has actually helped my training. With two years of solid training under my belt now I'm able to incorporate the workouts into my schedule almost effortlessly. With the help of a little planning and my trusty calendar! I no longer question my ability to get them done, my ability to eat to keep up, and I don't expect to "win" every workout and I don't expect perfection. I do expect consistency.

The Bad Attitude still rears it's ugly head (like when I skipped Masters the other night and Coach responded with an email saying: GET OVER YOURSELF), but that happens! Not nearly as often as it used to thank goodness!! :-) Hence, consistency!

It feels like by finally addressing my need/want to have a vital rewarding career again (although it can be argued how rewarding my legal career was it certainly did have its moments, it was worth every moment, and the money was good!), other things in my life have become more effortless.

And YES I have HOPE! For myself, for my business, and now for the country as well! Anything too easy isn't really worth having now is it! We all have big jobs ahead of us! To do whatever it is we want, and need in our lives and to keep ourselves healthy and youthful through multisport. Oh hell yeah!

I am grateful every day that I discovered triathlon.

Oh and there is a new Masters Swim Team in town! Swim Las Vegas! They are going to put on Nevada's first ever Open Water Swim Meet in October! I SO want to do a 2.4 mile open water swim. Hell I've already swum 2.1 miles in the open water under the watchful slavedriving eye of Coach Paul (one of the founders of Swim Las Vegas). I'll have to talk with Coach about me doing that.

So while I've been quiet on the blog lately things have been happening. Good things. I'm stepping up to the plate in another area of my life and it feels great!

I Like Swimming!

I like swimming.

Yup, I do.

It started when I joined Swim Group last season and then sort of snuck up on me as Season 2009 training started.

I actually like getting in and moving through the water. Such a refreshing change from the last two years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is GREAT cause it's now going to be easier for me to get better at a sport that I actually like.

Coach is making me swim three times a week (we are in a swim focus right now) and soon, very soon, I will be starting up with Masters. Next week is my 1000 yard time trial test which, well, BLECH! Who likes those? Noone I know. Then again no sport is perfect.

Last week I had a 500 yard time trial and figured my result was just average. I wasn't too concerned about it since it is so early in the year and I did work hard for it and so had no regrets or nasty thoughts that I could have/should have worked harder when it was done.

Then Coach emailed me later and pointed out that I had dropped 18 seconds per hundred compared with this time last year.

18 SECONDS PER HUNDRED. That's pretty darn good!

Another reason that I like swimming -- continued improvement! Improvement is always fun but for me just not dreading the swim workouts (and in fact actually looking forward to some of them -- GASP) is the bigger reward.

My times will go down this season too. I can feel it!