Sunday, August 2, 2009

I Made it to Taper

I haven't been blogging lately because I haven't wanted to put a lot of negative crap out there without context.

Truth is, training in this hellish inferno all summer has taken a toll on me emotionally. It has shown up in my motivation level (or at times lack thereof), it has shown up in my bike and run times (which honestly I would prefer that no one, even Liz, ever know but Liz knows cause she is my coach and stuff) and it showed up last weekend when I fell under the weather and bagged the entire weekend of training. Stomach bug. I was relieved to tell you the truth. I stayed in the AC all weekend, recovered and did not feel remotely bad or guilty for not training.

I've been frustrated with, and at times, resentful of training. Training has been no fun. Naturally it's not always fun but I have NO memory of Silverman training feeling even remotely hellish like this. I think it's because the long stuff started at the end of summer when things were more bearable and then of course fall is perfect training weather here.

So I haven't felt that positive lately about training.

And I have no idea how I'll do up in Utah but if my training times are any indication it's going to be a really long day. On the other hand it's not quite as hot up there and the course (bike and run) is billed as "pancake flat." Since I have absolutely NO experience on pancake flats it should be quite the adventure.

I do feel really strong and confident on the bike, despite my low average speeds. I'm not blaming the heat necessarily, but to pretend it doesn't affect me would be patently ridiculous. I had a minor episode today where I had a few seconds of "panic" and nausea going uphill with no breeze. I just felt like it was closing in on me. . . . . . fortunately it passed pretty quickly. My nutrition plan is second nature by now -- I felt strong running off the bike too. So I feel like I ended the long workouts on a strong note.

Now that I've made it to taper with my sanity intact, my general plan is to go up to Provo, be grateful for everything I have accomplished, race in the moment, and do the very best I can. I think that will be more than enough! Glenn and Tony are going with me. I have the best support in the world.

11 comments:

Sarah said...

Oh Stef, I wish I could be there to cheer you on and give you a big ole hug. I am so proud of you, for blogging these experiences, the good and the bad. You have come so far, and you have such determination. No matter what happens on the course, you're my hero ;)

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

Great plan.

Enjoy taper, enjoy the trip up, enjoy the experience....just enjoy it all (or try to!)

WADDLER26.2 said...

I totally understand. It is very hard for me to write anything as the hours increase.

Christi said...

I just started reading your post and all I can say is good luck! I know I don't like to post when things are going bad either but I am sure you will do well!!!!!

Wes said...

I might bitch (and I do). I might complain (and I do). I am ALWAYS honest with myself. I don't care. I'm dragging my sawry ass back out there to do it again :-)

You know why?

Cause these are my mountains...

RBR said...

Apparently I sent an email intended for you to one of my former students (named Stefanie of course) Gah! So sorry about that! I had just written to thank you and see how your training for Utah was going.

Anyhoo, I totally understand these feelings! You are so ready to rock this thing. All of your suffer training is behind you and now it is time to recover and enjoy the celebration of all your training in the race.

Formulaic said...

I hear you on the heat! The weather here can really get you down during this time of year.

I hope that you will be pleasantly suprised to see how much difference the temp can be.

You'll be smoking fast up there, plus you'll have the mental endurance from training in hell here!

Alisa said...

We all have good days and bad days. Sorry to hear you were under the weather, nothing can de-rail training like being sick or injured.

Bloggy land is the place to lay it all out there...the good, the bad and sometimes the very ugly!

Kevin said...

I know how you feel. I have been in a major slump. I am trying really hard to pull my butt out of it this week.

Hopefully, the taper will help pick you up and you will have a good race that you can be satisfied with your performance

ShirleyPerly said...

No doubt training in such heat is tough, Tough, TOUGH! I have worried that I might get sick too from pushing myself so hard but it has yet to happen (dang it ;-) Instead, I keep waddling along ...

But, the important thing is that you made it to taper time and perhaps taking a week off was as important to you physically as it was mentally.

Good luck on your race, Stef. Don't underestimate the power of all that you've done.

Formulaic said...

How's it going?