Sunday, February 21, 2010

On the Edge . . . . .

For these past few weeks (pretty much since my last post here) I've felt on edge. On the edge of breaking through, breaking down, and everything in between.

Sitting here writing this I feel like tons of pressure is on me -- and it's all self generated.

Growing a business is not easy. At the same time it is a joyful, excruciating learning, scary experience not unlike my experience with Silverman. In fact it is that very comparison that keeps me going during the hard days.

I give tele-classes now as part of marketing my business and in those classes I tell the story of how Silverman changed my life. And every time I tell it, I choke up. And sometimes, when I start to doubt myself and wonder "what in the world does this have to do with business" I get to that part of the story where Silverman changed the way I see myself, gave me boundless confidence over and above that which I had lost over years of habitual living, and how it takes confidence, above all else to be an entrepreneur that actually makes a difference.

And next year, Silverman is hosting the 2011 ITU Long Course Triathlon World Championships! How fitting that Silverman just keeps getting BIGGER.

As for me, things are changing. I literally took about three months off of serious training and now I have a new coach!

Jackie Arcana, Female Overall Winner (Nevada) of the Silverman Full Iron distance in 2009, is training me for short course! While I wasn't "looking" for a new coach, it quickly became obvious that I needed help. Badly! Jackie gets where I am now, what I want to accomplish, and she has years upon years of expertise to draw from having trained a wide range of athletes through the years. I feel really great to be training with her!

At the same time, it feels like I have a long way to go in the motivation department. But it's not a question of "do I still want to train?" Unequivocally YES I do! It's an issue of taking some of this awful insidious self induced pressure off, letting myself relax, trusting in my overall abilities, and having more fun.

Yup! One the one hand I'm a pro at "relaxing" (taking three months off training shows that) but on the other I am the master of self induced stress. I want to train and race for fun this year and feel like with each workout completed, I'm getting closer to that goal.

First race: Showdown at Sundown on March 27. I would like someone to come with me and take some pictures. Any takers?


Danielle said...

Send me info on the race. If it is local, I'll be there. But you know how I like yelling disparaging comments as you run by... I can't help it. I'm from Jersey.

ShirleyPerly said...

First of all, I love the new look to your blog!

And secondly, being someone who is also a master of self-induced stress, I think having a coach is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Although it might sound like more stress, I think it really is the opposite if you find the right person to work with. Thanks for the update on what's been going on with you, Stef. I hope you're able to find someone who'll take photos at your race. That sounds like a very interesting one, esp. being held in the evening!

Wes said...

We are always the hardest on ourselves eh? Good luck with the new coach! I don't like my new coach (ME!) :-)

KodaFit said...

Liking the new look as well!!

Good to hear you're still hanging in there, and that the business is going well.

Interested to hear how the new coach goes as well, although you have to question the sanity of anyone who does the full Silverman!!

Calyx Meredith said...

Beautiful new look! How exciting to have a new coach and to be exploring your edge. So wish I could be there and take pictures at your race next month. Someday!

Formulaic said...

Love the new blog look!

Because of you I went with Jackie too!