For these past few weeks (pretty much since my last post here) I've felt on edge. On the edge of breaking through, breaking down, and everything in between.
Sitting here writing this I feel like tons of pressure is on me -- and it's all self generated.
Growing a business is not easy. At the same time it is a joyful, excruciating learning, scary experience not unlike my experience with Silverman. In fact it is that very comparison that keeps me going during the hard days.
I give tele-classes now as part of marketing my business and in those classes I tell the story of how Silverman changed my life. And every time I tell it, I choke up. And sometimes, when I start to doubt myself and wonder "what in the world does this have to do with business" I get to that part of the story where Silverman changed the way I see myself, gave me boundless confidence over and above that which I had lost over years of habitual living, and how it takes confidence, above all else to be an entrepreneur that actually makes a difference.
And next year, Silverman is hosting the 2011 ITU Long Course Triathlon World Championships! How fitting that Silverman just keeps getting BIGGER.
As for me, things are changing. I literally took about three months off of serious training and now I have a new coach!
Jackie Arcana, Female Overall Winner (Nevada) of the Silverman Full Iron distance in 2009, is training me for short course! While I wasn't "looking" for a new coach, it quickly became obvious that I needed help. Badly! Jackie gets where I am now, what I want to accomplish, and she has years upon years of expertise to draw from having trained a wide range of athletes through the years. I feel really great to be training with her!
At the same time, it feels like I have a long way to go in the motivation department. But it's not a question of "do I still want to train?" Unequivocally YES I do! It's an issue of taking some of this awful insidious self induced pressure off, letting myself relax, trusting in my overall abilities, and having more fun.
Yup! One the one hand I'm a pro at "relaxing" (taking three months off training shows that) but on the other I am the master of self induced stress. I want to train and race for fun this year and feel like with each workout completed, I'm getting closer to that goal.
First race: Showdown at Sundown on March 27. I would like someone to come with me and take some pictures. Any takers?