Given some of the very insightful comments on my last post, I realize (not for the first time but sometimes things are starker for me in black and white) that there is often a large disparity between my positive attitude and support for others and my attitude toward myself, which is, too often, BAD.
Thanks for helping me see this with some new clarity. There have been a number of things that I've come across in recent months that will help me to bring this under control so that I treat everyone (including myself) with kindness and support when needed:
- Keywords. My great Coach first introduced me to the idea of keywords in swimming. In one of my comments on Training Peaks months ago I remarked that I felt like Gumby in the water. She responded by giving me a mental exercise that involved listing out a column of all the negative things I thought about myself while in the water, reviewing it, and then listing out an "opposite" word for every single one. For example: Clumsy --- Graceful, or Smooth. Then while swimming, if a negative word comes to mind, replace it with one of the opposite words and swim how I think. That TOTALLY WORKED so I will resume doing it. It feels weird at first but it does work.
- Coach also reminds us with some frequency that we cannot "win" every workout. Some will be mediocre, some will be bad. In our paths as athletes this is normal and to be expected. So I will do my best and expect some bad workouts. They don't make me a bad athlete. I think in most cases, a bad workout is better than none at all. I love what RBR said in the comments of my last post:
Remember to celebrate the success of just getting off your ass and working out. I don't know about you, but I spent PLENTY of time not doing a damn thing. Every workout is a win regardless of how fast.
YES! This totally sums it up for me. I relate to this SO MUCH. Thanks RBR!
- Coach also reminds us that the workouts will be stressful on our bodies and that some stress and discomfort is necessary to improve. I get really annoyed if I feel "too sore" or "too tired" during weeks where the training load is heavier than others. I need to find a way to accept this and know that my workouts are balanced, and as long as I hold up my end by eating enough of the right foods and getting enough sleep that, again, I am becoming a better athlete.
- When about to criticize myself during a workout, think about what I would say to one of my close friends, training partners, or family and then say that same thing to myself. There is NO WAY I would say the things I say to myself to others nor would I put up with anyone else saying them to me. HELLO!
I am somewhat relieved to put this down in black and white and feel sane again. It is so worth it to make the effort to be nice to myself. Thanks to EVERYONE who left comments, not only on the most recent post but on all the posts! The support that I feel from my blogger friends is so great and so helpful. J
So after putting down all of that I think I will save the details of my excitement for BAM for another post. The other day I did not feel excited at all for BAM but after a few good workouts under my belt the excitement is renewed.
Midway, Utah is about a seven hour drive north of here. Which means it is much COOLER there. Temperatures have been in the 40s in the morning (BRRRRRRRRRRR) and have been topping out around 70. I don't think the cooler temperatures will bother me. Someone asked me about altitude. I am not sure what the altitude is there (it is near Salt Lake City) but I don't think that will bother me either. J
Happy Hump Day tomorrow!